Fashion Humour

A Pair Docs Are For Life

Never let it be said that I don’t stretch myself beyond my comfort zone (in more ways that one)

Today, and for today only, I am a fashion writer!!

Well, when I say fashion writer I want to extol the virtues of Doctor Marten¬†Boots. It is a rite of passage that I have been through twice before, it is one that all those souls who decide that they should take the journey to being a Docs wearer have to take… yes folks it’s that Breaking In period.¬† Docs are made of some material found nowhere else on the planet, and it can take a kicking and keep on ticking. The Process goes a little something like this:

Day One – OMG These Boots Look EPIC!!!!

Day Two – OMFG – Someone burn my feet off at the ankle and grind the bloody stumps in rock salt… it couldn’t feel any worse than they do right now!!!!

Week One – The False Sense of Security.
You think you have broken the boots, but in reality, the boots have crippled you and you can just no longer feel your feet

Week Two – Hard-en.
Your feet are starting to toughen up to the continual pressure coming from all sides that the boot can possibly exert. You get moments of pure blissful comfort and then your whole world comes crashing down as you step on that one blade of grass that may have had something sticky dropped on it and your whole body goes into spasms of writhing agony as you remember you have leather vices strapped to your feet.

Week Three – Almost There.
By now you have been wearing your boots for upwards of 21 days and you are on top of the world. You ARE tough enough to withstand and torture subjected too by any of the worlds Secret Agencies, Mi6, CIA, MOSSAD, Justin Bieber. You could probably withstand an Alien invasion from the planet Zog with your boots on. But don’t forget, these little bastards have put you through hell, but they won’t protect you from a heavy brick falling from 15 inches up on to your booted toe! Devious they are.